Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we're making bets on your personal life
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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