I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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