if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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