I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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