Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
