I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
