My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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