Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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