so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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