Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
