I will die if light touches me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
