so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sober January is a disaster.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
