My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
