as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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