New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
