4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
this beer tastes like vomit already
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
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Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I understand Curling. That high.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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