I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
