so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
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Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
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