Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
