someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
What drink are we having for lunch?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
