shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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