his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My breasts were aching with rage.