btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids