Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.