what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just tell him i said nine months
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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