i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis