You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish i was in the wii world.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
