I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
