her vagine was all disorganized.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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