That's intense
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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