you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
