well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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