i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize