So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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