Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
