Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
