It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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