wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize