She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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