The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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