Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize