I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
