You're my little dorito
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
