Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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