i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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