I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
