So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
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My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
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Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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