We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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