Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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