were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
