He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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