Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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