but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
