Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
