Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
