There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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