Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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