We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
this will be a night to untag.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
