sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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