my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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