every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
