I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
