If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
