a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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