So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
