Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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