i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize