I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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