I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
