yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
