she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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