I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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