if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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