I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
